This Sandstorm

All I can hear is the thudding of my own heart and my endless thoughts screaming for attention. I am alone. Nothing surrounds me but the heat that the sun fiercely glares down on me, like a royal cloak draping across the land. My eyes squint as the light reflects off from the golden sand forcing them to close with each step that I take. My lungs beg to breathe as the heated air burns down my throat, providing no comfort to my restricted air supply. My tongue is so dry that words have dried before their escape. A warm breeze begins to walk across the dust, teasing them to move. This heat wave exists in my isolated mind as I stand in real disbelief at my reality. As I stand and witness the carelessness of human nature and my inability to stop the critique of myself, the sandy storm sifts. It stirs.

My arms are outstretched, protectively guarding my face and eyes as the wind speed increases its knots. As the words roll off from their untamed tongues, I wait to see if they stop in their ignorance to reflect, to apologise, to re-build. It doesn’t happen. Their words are arid and their eyes only express drought toward another’s pain and discomfort. My eyes inspect them from head-to-toe, trying to figure out what genetically sets us apart. It has to be genetic, right? How can it not be? Politeness, social etiquette, taking responsibility, common sense that we all have to act grown up, at one stage or another, this is what we are taught in our homes and in our schools. So, genetics of the mind has to be wired differently, right? My mind seeks for answers. This voice shouts now, expressing their red anger. The wind is furious and forcibly sweeps the dirt into the air.

Saltation has begun; the dust in the air has been taken against its will to another location. I’m standing in the center of this sandy storm as the wind hollers out its eery cry. My eyes squint as the golden dust plunges into the air, like a rocket’s engine starting up and punishing the surrounding air particles as it blasts into the sky. My dark veil tries to cling on as I trudge forward to safety but it unwillingly flies away. I turn to grab it but instead I watch a trail of a black memory hurrying away. The voice gets louder as they express that nothing is their responsibility, that some of us need to do more than others and that is what is fair, whilst others do less. The humid air slithers into my ears as I struggle to reason with this voice. The wind’s velocity peaks and pushes me back. Further and further back.

In my human weakness, I drop to the ground executing the remaining dirt particles into the vicious air. In my curled position, my mind fetches every defeated moment, every deceiving individual’s face and every moment that I could have done better in reaction to the fore. Displaying these robbed moments of happiness stirs the storm. My heart wants to explode as the hot air tries to push me back in my conquered state. The voice retreats as my outer silence refuses to grant them satisfaction. My eyes remain determined as I realize that I have more than one choice. Depending on which one I selectively choose, it will direct the outcome. So, I chose kind confrontation. I chose to stand firm whilst others try to manipulate me with their shadowy lies. I chose to attempt, even in the smallest minute way, to be better.

This sandy storm breathes out; the particles now become acquainted with their new destination. I’m covered in noble dust to remind me of the storm which came to pass. The sand lays on my face and hands like a second-skin. My heart beats with emotion and tears trace down my dry cheeks. My eyes search for comfort in a nearby existence, but all it finds are layers of imperial sand, greeting my feet with warmth. I am alone in this calming Sandstorm. All I can hear is the thudding of my own heart and my endless thoughts seeking to be understood. This challenging journey is my own. People, events, time and sandy storms will come to pass. When the dust settles, I’ll look back and marvel at the indentations created by the decisions of my steps. I will realize that I can weather any storm, God-willing.